Stop Your Coaching Chats from Rambling

Have you started coaching a team member? Are you finding that your coaching sessions are rambling on for too long? They are fun, but you can’t remember what you agreed? Do your coaching sessions end without an action plan?

Yes? You need to GROW!

GROW is an acronym for Goal, Reality, Options (and Obstacles), and Way forward. It’s a simple model that will help you structure your coaching conversations to prevent them from becoming long rambling chats that don’t result in anything. And as much as you might enjoy catching up with the person, you’re coaching, that’s a separate activity.

You must guard your time as your most valuable resource as a business person. And the best way to do this is to use a defined structure. As a bonus, you’ll find that the person you’re coaching will also get more value from a coaching call when using GROW.

Goal

Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound. To ensure it’s a SMART goal, ask questions like: “How will we know that the goal is achieved?” “When will we know the goal is achieved?” “How does this goal fit with overall career objectives?” By answering these questions, you automatically make it a SMART goal.

Reality

Questions like “What steps have you already taken towards this goal?”, “What was the result of this?” or “What is happening now (with whom? When? Where? How often?).” During this phase, obstacles and sometimes solutions present themselves. This then naturally leads to the next step.

Options (and Obstacles)

Once you have a goal and a picture of the current reality, you need to look at the options to achieve the goal. Help your team member to brainstorm but don’t do it for them. Asking questions like “What else could you do?”, “What if this obstacle was removed? What could you do then?” or “What do you need to stop doing to achieve this goal?”, “What are the advantages and disadvantages of that option?” or “What obstacles stand in your way?” will be helpful to get them started.

Way forward

From the previous brainstorm, some viable options or first steps should emerge. Now you help them to establish how they will achieve the goal. Use questions such as: “What will you do (and when?)”, “How will you keep yourself motivated?” or “When will you review your progress?” In this step, you also decide when to get in touch again to review the progress.

Groundhog Day

I have used the GROW model in my coaching conversations for nearly a decade. In the beginning, I used to tear my hair out as coaching sessions felt like the movie Groundhog Day. The goal was the same as last month, and so was the reality. And another month had gone by without any progress.

Now that I’ve learned how to use the model properly my time management and the results are so much better!

So although GROW is a great model to structure coaching conversations, there are three things to keep in mind to get the most out of it:

It’s super easy to slip into “expert mode” and tell them what you think they should do. However, if you do that, the person you’re coaching has no ownership over the process or the goals. This means they are not motivated to achieve the goals and do the work. So to ensure they own their goals and plans, you must let them come up with ideas. This also relieves you from being the expert with the magic answers.

Nurture them along the way. It’s important to frequently get in touch to keep people on track between coaching sessions. You could, for example, schedule a quick “power call” (3 to 4 minutes) to encourage them and see how they’re tracking. You can also use text messages or Facebook to check in with them. If you ask people to “keep you posted” and put the ball in their court, you won’t speak to them until the next session. However, if you take the initiative and check in with them, they feel valued and encouraged, and you keep them accountable. I found this makes a massive difference.
Coaching multiple people makes it even more important to improve your efficiency. Group people with similar goals and realities and do a group coaching session. Group calls save you time, and they also improve accountability and motivation. Bonus!

Once you learn how to use the GROW model, your coaching sessions will no longer ramble on forever without any results. You will find that the reality will keep changing as they grow and work towards their goals. Coaching sessions will not feel like Groundhog Day but become exciting as you can celebrate wins and set new goals, whether small and modest or big and hairy.

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Quiz

I have always been fascinated by personality types and different quizzes to find out what personality type you are. So when I came across a personality quiz specifically designed to help direct sellers, I jumped at it instantly.

The quiz was developed by the fabulous Mary Christensen. In her book you’ll find 8 personality types, but I’ve found these four the most common and helpful to distinguish:

Peacocks
Peacocks are the most colorful of all the personalities. They are enthusiastic, spontaneous, and passionate. They follow their instincts, radiate warmth, and make friends easily. Peacocks are drawn to the limelight. They talk a lot, often speak fast and may embellish a story for dramatic effect.
Doves
Doves are the most sensitive of all personalities. They are caring, nurturing, and kind. Doves bring harmony to any group because they are thoughtful, considerate, and tolerant of all viewpoints. They will turn away from disagreement rather than hurt someone’s feelings.
Eagles
Eagles are the most driven of all personalities. They live to win. Eagles are confident, ambitious and assertive. They won’t stop until they get what they want.
Owls
Owls are the most observant of all the personalities. They are fascinated by facts, figures, and detail. They are sincere and reliable and sometimes a little pedantic.

Oh no! I’m a Peacock

The first time I took this quiz, I was identified as a “Peacock” and I was not happy about it. I had considered myself a more nurturing “Dove” type and now I was a flashy Peacock.

But when I was honest with myself, I realized I really did love attention, recognition and loved seeing my name in print and being recognized on stage at company events. I was indeed a Peacock and ready to own it!

The next thought that went through my mind was about my team, I really wanted to know their personality types as well so I would know how to bring out the best in them. I asked them to complete the quiz as well and many did.

That the quiz uses birds to explain the various personality types was helpful to me. The associations are logical and very easy to remember so that was a big plus when it came to working with my team.

How I Applied the Personalities in My Direct Sales Biz

Understanding these different personality types made a massive difference to my business. It was the first time I really stopped to think about the fact that not everybody likes to do things the way that I do.

I knew that superficially, of course, but I hadn’t taken that knowledge to the next level and applied it consciously to managing myself or my team.

From then on I started offering different forms of recognition, taking into account that Owls and Doves often prefer a phone call or personal card in the mail over public recognition.

I also started delegating detailed tasks to Owls in my team, which draws upon their strengths and helped them to feel valued and.

I worked closely with Eagles to help them soar high but also develop patience with other personality types. I made an extra effort to shine the spotlight on the Peacocks, remembering that it wasn’t all about me.

I evolved into an Eagle

A few years later I took the quiz again and this time I had a new result. I had “evolved” into an Eagle. I was focused, goal oriented and a very high achiever. I had learned that consistency is the fastest way to success even though I’m still impatient.

Of course we all have aspects of each of the personality types within us. People are complex and beautiful beings, nobody is a one dimensional bird.

When I first took the quiz I realized I had very little “Owl” in me. I wasn’t very detail oriented and I wasn’t very organized. But, as they say, the first step in changing things is being aware of what you want to change. So I worked hard at increasing those skills over the years, to the point that I’m now extremely detail oriented and organized…although there is some room for improvement. I have to admit my office is usually messy and not very “owl-like”.

It is due to this quiz and – most importantly – the understanding of the different personality types for myself and my team that I was able to build a multi-million dollar business. It made me a better business woman and a better leader.

So, take a few minutes to take this quiz now. And then share it with your team! It’s a gift of knowledge that you can give yourself and others. It has the potential to change your life, just as it did mine.

Grow Your Own Leaders

All you need to do to grow your own leaders in your direct selling team, is some seeds, fertile soil, and water.

Add a dash of sunshine and you’ll have a brand new leader of your own in no time!

Ok…it’s perhaps a little more work than that but it’s infinitely rewarding to lead other people to become great leaders.

Like a gardener, it’s more important to regularly tend to your garden than to do a big lot of work twice a year.

Sow Leadership Seeds

Let’s start with seeds. It’s important to plant seeds for leadership in your direct sales team. People have to desire it before they will step up to become a leader. And it’s up to you to plant those seeds:

How easy do you make leadership look? Make it look doable. Show how much support there is in the company or the wider organization.
Make your leaders meetings, leader retreats or other special events exciting. Make them something that people want to be part of.
Talk about the extra cash you can make as a leader.
Help your team members to see themselves as a future leaders. Make them realize they could achieve leadership too.
Remind your team that you struggled at the start too, that it’s normal and that things do become easier.

Create Fertile Soil for Leaders to grow

Motivation is the fertile soil for the seeds to grow in.

At least 80% of success in the direct selling industry is about mindset. You have to provide ongoing motivation to help your team to believe in themselves. You can use motivational YouTube clips, provide a positive affirmation for the week ahead and generally show a positive and encouraging attitude in your team communications.

It’s also important to recognize achievements along the way. Don’t just celebrate the big milestones, but also the smaller steps and achievements. This is not only a great boost for the people being recognized, but provides motivation for the other team members to gain achievements as well.

Water your seedlings

Now that you’ve planted your seeds in fertile soil, you need to water them. You need to coach your (future) leaders. Coaching is not a talent but it’s a skill that can be learnt. Here are a few quick pointers:

GROW – In your coaching conversation think of the acronym GROW. It stands for Goals, Reality, Options, Way forward. These are the points you want to discuss with your team member in coaching conversations. Check the article on GROW for more information.
Have leadership as a vision but help team members stay on track with weekly (smaller stepping stone-) goals to prevent procrastination.
Keep in touch in between coaching calls. You can use emails, text messages, and quick 5 minute ‘powercalls’.

Give your seedlings Sunshine

Now it’s time to make sure your seedlings get some sunshine.

A great way to do this is to set-up focus groups. You can do this in Facebook or Slack or whatever means of team communication you use.

Make sure this focus group is separate from your main team group. It’s important that this is an exclusive group and feels exclusive to the members. I only open ‘entry’ to the focus groups once per quarter.

In the focus group you would provide more posts, more training, more recognition, more competitions, more motivation. And you encourage motivation and learning across the focus group among members themselves.

Tend to your garden

You need to continue to tend to your garden to help your seedlings to grow into confident party plan leaders.

To do this provide extra training. You can do some weekly short training sessions for your focus group, eg. 15 minute videos on a variety of topics that they will need to get to leadership. Ask the group what they need and organize a quick Facebook Live to talk through the topic.

Continue to provide ‘normal’ training for all your team members as well but make sure you don’t overload your seedlings with too much of a good thing.

Your future leaders also need goals and challenges to help them to grow. To do this you can set weekly challenges with prizes. This encourages regular activity and it encourages team members to try new things they might otherwise skip.

Examples of weekly challenges are to put up 5 promotional posters, sell as many special bundles or promotional items as they can, share weekly affirmations, or create and share a vision board.

Fertilize your future leaders for growth

Boost your seedlings’ growth with some fertilizer: hold annual retreats for ‘rising stars’.

On these retreats you need to blow their minds with great training. It’s also important that give them a taste of leadership events they would attend as leaders so they want to become leaders – fuel that desire so they will be motivated to achieve leadership.

Gardening Tools

Finally, I’d like to list some of the tools that you can use to help grow your new direct sales leaders:

Facebook (groups)
Slack (free group communications)
Cinchshare (schedule social media posts)
Canva (creating tiles for social media)

Happy growing!

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